God never experiments with His relationships with his sons and daughters. We shouldn’t either.



Men have been given a certain authority and large amount of influence over His daughters, who themselves, have their own spiritual responsibilities. But let’s focus on the men for now.

How men of God treat and influence his daughters can have an eternal impact. Every word, every action, every inaction, every intention and thought, he is accountable for and will have to answer to. Not just in eternity, but now.

God consistently parallels Christ & the Church Body Relationship, with the Male & the Female relationship. Treating Women as Christ does the Church Body doesn’t begin the second after you say “I do”. It starts when you’re single. So whether you’re single, married, separated or divorced, you have been given an Example after which to pattern yourselves.

Success in marriage is directly linked to the success of your relationships as a single. Singledom is training ground. And ultimately, your success in any relationship is the fruit of your healthy, intimate relationship with your Father.

The Daughter’s hearts are longing for an earthly representative of God to speak in and act in their lives. They’re longing for, not perfection, but protection, pure motives, loving correction and encouragement, for your strength of character, your spiritual maturity, your integrity (when what you say lines up with what you do). They’re longing for the Fruits of the Spirit! They’re longing for your attention. But! When you give it, is it as He would give it or have you patterned yourselves after the way the world sees and treats women?


When you see his daughter, (your Sister), what are your thoughts and intentions?

It’s not just your intentions that count, it is the impression that you leave – the impression on her soul. What are you writing on the tablet of her heart?

One of the definitions of A LIE is “…to give a false impression”. Are you lying to his Daughters? If so, you are misleading and misguiding as satan does. You are also lying to yourself and most importantly, lying to God. “A good leader motivates, doesn’t mislead, doesn’t exploit.” (Proverbs 16:10)

Men, you may act a certain way towards women and girls with no ill intention, but your actions may have devastating effects.

Even if your motives are pure but you see in yourself, a pattern of leaving women behind in pain, you’re responsible and accountable. You will have to answer to God about how you enter and how you leave their lives.


How are you influencing the hearts of your Sisters? What impression are you leaving of God’s character? Are you preparing, helping, training and grooming them for healthy relationships? Do they see Christ in you or do they have to seek Christ out to get over your treatment of them? Your words are more impactful than you know. They are spirit. What are you saying to them? 

“I tell you, on the day of judgment men will have to give account for every idle (inoperative, nonworking) word they speak.”

You are your Sister’s Keeper. You are to be a representative of The Father & Big Brother. You are to protect her as The Father & Son would. They would never misguide, mislead, physically or emotionally manipulate. They would never use her just to discover themselves or “get some”. Love, His love, “…is not self-seeking”.


What are you looking for – fulfillment, relationship, attention, love, to meet physical needs, excitement, ego stroking, to benefit yourself in some way? What? Is your quest for whatever you’re searching for leaving a trail of hurt, confused, broken-hearted women? Are you deferring their hope that there is the Goodness of God in men? You should be building their hope! And what you should be looking for is Him! In Him, you will find all you are and all you need to help find what and who you (really) need!

If any devastation you may be creating is based on you not yet knowing what you want, who you are, or who you are in Christ, then she will gain a “false impression” and you will only cause confusion and eventually betray her because when you think about it, you’re betraying yourself first.

Only God can tell you want you want. What you want is birthed out of what you need and only He knows what that is. Know your purpose and find out what God’s vision is for your life. A man without a clear purpose and vision is like a ship being tossed back and forth by the storm – you may drown yourself and her! It is hard to lead or partner with someone if you possess no clear direction.

Whether you have intentionally or unintentionally hurt His Daughters, it is your fruit that remains. What seeds have you planted? What has grown? What message do you write on the tablet of her heart? “…they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.”

If you are leaving a trail of casualties, you are in danger. Just as aggressively as God protects you, He will protect them. No one, not even a son, will hurt them without repercussions.

Take care of your life before you negatively influence hers. You are to be an open epistle, transparent in your intentions and motives, purposing not to give a false impression. Your words are to align with His Words. Your actions are to line up with His Promises. If you cannot follow through, do not begin. Don’t start anything you’re not completely committed to. You’ll just disappoint yourself and others.

If the responsibility of being your Sister’s Keeper and the effort of Spiritual Maturity is too great for you, then choose to be alone and celibate because you are probably not leaning, trusting, and relying on in Him so are not equipped to be in her life. If you have the heart of the Father on the matter, perfection isn’t needed and the most you would be to her is “challenging” rather than toxic. If you have the heart of the Father on the matter, your Sister’s love for her Father will deepen because of you, not despite you.

You may or may not have “title” on this earth, but you do have spiritual title, are a spiritual influence, and are a Spiritual Leader because of the responsibility God has placed on you.

Love His daughters as He would. The world’s kind of love is inefficient and ineffective for you and from you. His love never fails. The God kind of love “…does not behave rudely [and] does not seek its own…”. 

Let’s not confuse Agape love with Eros.

Original Post on Mar. 27th, 2009


Agape is the very nature of God—God is love. Agape is love because of what it inherently is and for what is, not because of how it feels. It is an exercise of the will, a deliberate choice.

Eros is the Greek word for sexual love or passionate love and it’s where we get the English word,  “erotic.”

Phileo means “To have a special interest in someone or something, frequently with focus on close association; have affection for, like, consider someone a friend.” The word phileo implies a strong emotional connection, and thus, is used of the “love” or deep closeness between friends. You can agape your enemies, but you cannot phileo them.

Storge is the love and affection that naturally occurs between parents and children. It can also exist between siblings and husbands and wives in a good marriage. It occurs in Romans 12:10, a very important verse, directing us to be very loving and kind to each other.

Applicable Scriptures

I pray that you would be filled with wisdom and spiritual understanding (spiritual and mental intelligence combined) and increase in the correct knowledge of God. / Col 1:9-10

  • Let not mercy and kindness [shutting out all hatred and selfishness] and truth [shutting out all deliberate hypocrisy or falsehood] forsake you; bind them about your neck, write them upon the tablet of your heart. So shall you find favor, good understanding, and high esteem in the sight [or judgment] of God and man. / Proverbs 3:3-4 (AMPC)
  • For from within, [that is] out of the hearts of men, come base and wicked thoughts, sexual immorality… adultery, Coveting…dangerous and destructive wickedness, deceit; unrestrained (indecent) conduct; an evil eye (envy), slander (evil speaking, malicious misrepresentation, abusiveness), pride (the sin of an uplifted heart against God and man), foolishness (folly, lack of sense, recklessness, thoughtlessness). All these evil [purposes and desires] come from within, and they make the man unclean…. / Mark 7:21-23 (AMPC)
  • Whoever loves instruction and correction loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is like a brute beast, stupid and indiscriminating. / Proverbs 12:1 (AMPC)
  • What a person desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar. / Proverbs 19:22 (NIV)
  • However a person think in his heart, that’s who he is. / Proverbs 23:7
  • Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right. / Proverbs 20:11-12 (NIV)
  • A ruler who lacks understanding is a great oppressor… / Proverbs 28:16 (NKJV)
  • whoever causes one of these little ones [the young; the novice; the innocent; the naive] who believe in and acknowledge and cleave to Me to stumble and sin [that is, who entices him or hinders him in right conduct or thought], it would be better (more expedient and profitable or advantageous) for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be sunk in the depth of the sea. / Matthew 18:6 (AMPC)
  • You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God. / Luke 16:15 (ESV)
  • If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. / Romans 12:18 (AMPC)
  • The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. / Proverbs 18:21
  • The way of the guilty is devious, but the conduct of the innocent is upright. / Proverbs 21:8 (NIV)
  • The wicked is overthrown through his wrongdoing and calamity, but the [consistently] righteous has hope and confidence even in death. / Proverbs 14:32 (AMPC)
  • Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it. / Ephesians 4:29 (AMPC)
  • Test and evaluate yourselves to see whether you are in the faith and living your lives as [committed] believers. Examine yourselves [not me]! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves [by an ongoing experience] that Jesus Christ is in you—unless indeed you fail the test and are rejected as counterfeit? / 2 Corinthians 13:5 (AMP)





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